The Golden Thread Read online

  On the day of the hop Claudia did what she could, with a little help from her younger sister, to look her best and joined up with a couple of her classmates to go to the event.

  That evening Maria rushed to the door to greet her. ‘Well, how was it? Did you have an amazing time? Were their some fabulous boys?’

  ‘There were a great many spotty, lanky youths, none of whom had a sensible word to say.’

  ‘Did you dance with lots of them?’

  ‘Oh yes. It was carefully arranged so that there was an equal number of boys and girls, and we did a Paul Jones, so we kept ending up with fresh partners.’

  Maria squealed with excitement. ‘I wish they had these hops at my school! Oh, Claudia, how marvellous! Surely there was one super boy there, wasn’t there? There must have been at least one!’

  ‘Not one, I promise you. They were all pretty unattractive and seemed so young. Not a Prince Charming in sight.’

  ‘I bet there’s a tall, dark, handsome stranger out there for you somewhere! One day, Claudia, you’re going to meet him, and he’s going to sweep you off your feet! You just wait.’

  Despite their differing outlooks and talents, the girls remained attached to each other, and shared their various concerns. Of course they irritated each other intensely at times, as sisters commonly do. Claudia’s habit of correcting any inaccuracies when Maria was recounting an event spoiled the flow of her story, and after all, it was the dramatic effect that mattered – as far as Maria was concerned – rather than a strict adherence to fact. Claudia could not understand this approach, nor could she comprehend how her sister could be content to grow up without any plans for the future, simply drifting along enjoying the present as if there were no tomorrow.

  Claudia’s way forward was clearly marked out. She planned to go to university – the Oxbridge option was certainly on the cards – to read mathematics, prior to embarking on a teaching career. It was impossible to predict what Maria would do. She saw no point in making any decisions, and took life as it came, happy to leave the worrying to others.

  Claudia’s plans fell neatly into place – she was accepted by St Hilda’s College, Oxford. As the time drew nearer for her sister to leave home, Maria began to experience some disquiet. She knew she would miss Claudia sorely and wondered how she would manage without this prop that had always been there for her. For once she kept her thoughts to herself. But there was no need to voice them. Claudia had been thinking along similar lines.

  One day, after agonising for some time, she said to Maria, ‘I’ve made a decision. I’m not going to take up my place at university. It isn’t fair to leave you here on your own.’

  Maria reacted immediately, and forcefully.

  ‘No, Claudia, no! I can’t have you make that sacrifice for me. I want you to go ahead with things, the way you’ve always planned.’

  ‘But won’t it be awful for you? You’ll be so alone, with only Dad for company!’

  ‘I know it won’t be easy, but I couldn’t bear you to give up everything you’ve hoped for and dreamed of because of me! I can’t let you make that sacrifice! I’d hate myself, for the rest of my life, if I made you lose the chance of going to college! Please, Claudia, you mustn’t think like that a moment longer.’

  Claudia reached over and took her hand.

  ‘What would I do without you? You’re the best sister in the world! Look, we’ll keep in touch all the time, and perhaps you’ll be able to come and stay for a weekend occasionally, or I might be able to come home from time to time. Thank you, Maria. I shall never, ever forget this.’

  They smiled at each other, happy in the knowledge that the bond between them was so strong nothing could mar it, for so it seemed to them both. Despite the pang the separation caused her, Claudia was happy when the time came for her to go up to Oxford. Maria, with a marked lack of enthusiasm, continued at school.

  Hugh continued to be excessively proud of his elder daughter, and baffled by his younger one. Fortunately for him his work was utterly absorbing. Giving himself up entirely to its demands he was able, for the most part, to deny the existence of the outside world.

  Chapter 6

  Professor Hugh Hansom looked round his physics laboratory and smiled contentedly. Among his familiar apparatus, with his latest experiment set up and his lecture notes in a neat pile, he felt at peace with the world. Ever since his wife had died this was the environment that offered security, its familiarity providing comfort and the stimulation of the work absorbing his energies. He would happily have brought a camp bed in and stayed at night if that had been a practical possibility.

  The laws of physics appealed to him because of their predictability. He liked things that you could rely on and understand. People were in a different category altogether; they were a source of bewilderment to him, and none more so than his own two daughters – or perhaps, more accurately, his younger daughter. Claudia, at least, seemed to behave in a way he understood, with her consistent approach to her studies, and her long-term objective of joining the teaching profession. But Maria! He had no idea how she functioned, or what was to become of her. This was one area where he bitterly regretted his wife’s death. Anita had had a close relationship with both girls, and Hugh knew that they had easily confided in her. He had kept out of it, feeling he had very little to offer. If there had been a son, that would have been different, but girls! He simply couldn’t cope with their silliness and their excitement about trivial and unimportant issues.

  It occurred to Hugh that he probably had a better relationship with his students than he did with his own daughters, but that was perfectly understandable. They were on the same wavelength. They looked to him for guidance through their courses, and he was able to supply it. Nothing was too much trouble. He would take as much time as was needed to help those who found the work difficult, but he much preferred to be with the bright students, who immediately grasped the concepts he was putting forward, and who could discuss issues with him from a basis of understanding.

  There was a tap on the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone, but he looked up and called, ‘Come in!’

  Amanda Gosling appeared, advancing rather tentatively, and seeming ill at ease. A bright, second-year student, she had never appeared to experience any particular problems, and had settled into student life easily. He couldn’t think why she might want to see him.

  ‘Sit down, sit down,’ he said. ‘What can I do for you?’

  The girl hesitated. Then she said, in a voice so low he could hardly hear, ‘I’m afraid I have to leave.’

  He looked up, startled. Then he noticed that her face was blotchy, and she was clearly feeling miserable. Even as he saw these things, she took out a tissue and blew her nose.

  ‘Why must you leave? Your work is very good. I don’t understand. Why on earth would you want to give up everything you’ve achieved here?’

  ‘I don’t want to,’ she replied, looking up for the first time. ‘But I have to. You see, I’m sorry to say, I’m … pregnant.’ Then her head went down again, and there was a great deal more nose-blowing and mopping of the eyes.

  Hugh was flabbergasted. He had no idea what to say. Whatever did you say to girl students who found themselves in that position?

  ‘Oh dear, how awful!’ he said, which proved to be quite the wrong thing as it set off another bout of tears.

  ‘Yes it is,’ the girl sobbed. ‘And I don’t know what to do, and my parents are going to be so angry, and I’m so disappointed … and so worried.’

  ‘Look,’ said Hugh, ‘are you certain? I mean …’

  ‘Yes, I am certain, now. I kept hoping … but it’s no good …

  ‘What will you do, then? Are you going to …? I’m sorry, it’s none of my business.’

  ‘I don’t know what to do … but the only thing I know is that I can’t get rid of it. I’ve thought about it – night after night – but I can’t do it. I shall have to have it.’

&
nbsp; ‘Well, what about the father then? Is he going to–?’

  ‘No! I certainly don’t want to marry him! I’ve been so stupid – I can’t tell you, Professor Hansom. Just once, only once in my whole life, I got drunk at a party, and I allowed a student I hardly knew … well, I think I must have … I’ve no memory of being forced … and it’s the only time I’ve ever … and now …’

  ‘Dear, dear. How very unfortunate.’ He realised that the girl’s life was in ruins, but at least he had the tact not to say so. Coming from a middle-class background as she did, her parents would no doubt support her in the end, but she’d probably never get over the shame of it, and her life at university was over.

  ‘Look,’ he said, ‘thanks for telling me. Have you spoken to anyone else? I’m sure there’s someone here who would be able to help. There must be someone who could give you advice.’

  She nodded. ‘I haven’t yet, but I’m going to. I’ve found out who I need to speak to, and I’m going to do that now. But I wanted to tell you first, because … because …’ She broke down again, sobbing convulsively. Then she stood up, and turned to go.

  ‘Good luck!’ he called after her. Then he chided himself for his stupidity. What an idiotic thing to say. It was her bad luck that had brought her to this point. The poor girl! He felt truly sorry for her.

  Later that evening, as he thought about the scene that had taken place in his laboratory, it occurred to him that, as he had a daughter who was in her first year at university, perhaps he ought to say something to her. Should he tell her about poor Miss Gosling? Was it his fatherly duty to warn her of the dangers? The more he thought about it, the more unnecessary it seemed. Claudia was eminently sensible. She rarely went to parties, and he couldn’t believe, for one moment, that the experience of the poor girl who had come to him today would befall his daughter. No, the more he thought about it, the more confident he felt. Claudia would never succumb to any kind of temptation like that. Not his serious-minded, intelligent Claudia. Never.

  Chapter 7

  Claudia had only been up at Oxford a few weeks when she received an anguished note from Maria. It read:

  Dear Claudia

  Please, please come back for a day, or more if you can. I’m miserable and unhappy and I badly need to talk to you. I miss you so much, and I do need to see you. But, of course, I’m very happy that you are there, and settling in well, by all accounts. Please reply straight away – I’ll feel so much better if I know you’re coming.

  All my love, Maria

  How could she refuse? In any case, it gave her an excuse to go home, and if the truth were told, she was feeling rather homesick. If she just went on Sunday, it wouldn’t really impinge on her work. She’d just cram in as much as she could on Saturday. And probably she could get a bit of study done on the train. It would be wonderful to see Maria and her father again. She wondered what the terrible drama was, and guessed it was probably a storm in a teacup. But to Maria, experiencing the problem, it would be all-consuming.

  She dropped a note into the post straightaway, saying she would come for the day on Sunday. It was already Thursday, so Maria would not have long to wait. In any case, it was quite likely that by the time she got there, the whole thing, whatever it was, would have blown over.

  Maria’s face lit up at the sight of Claudia, and she ran to her and hugged her. ‘It’s wonderful to see you! How are you? How are things going? Are you working terribly hard? I’m so pleased you’re here – I’ve missed you so, and I’ve been longing to talk to you!’

  There was no need to answer any of the questions – Maria wasn’t interested in the answers. Obviously her own problems were still uppermost in her mind. Claudia greeted her father, who seemed pleased to see her, and after exchanging a few pleasantries with him, she followed her sister upstairs. Maria’s bedroom was strewn untidily with magazines, an array of lipsticks lay on various surfaces and other items of make-up cluttered up the top of her dressing table. Various clothes were in evidence, either on hangers or lying on the bed. Claudia observed that nothing had changed.

  ‘Well,’ said Claudia, getting straight to the point. ‘What is it? Why are you so miserable?’

  ‘Daddy’s cross with me and Diana won’t speak to me!’ wailed Maria. Diana Maitland had been Maria’s best friend for several years now, and each was deeply involved in the other’s hopes and dreams. At fifteen years of age both girls viewed social success as their top priority. Academic attainment meant nothing – neither could wait to leave school the following year so that they could embark on their adult lives.

  ‘One thing at a time – what have you done to make Dad cross?’

  ‘It’s so unfair! He seems to think I should be working as hard for my exams as you did, and I can’t, Claudia. I just can’t. It all seems such a waste of time – after all, I’ve no intention of going to university!’

  ‘So how much work are you doing?’

  ‘Well, not a lot, I agree, but even if I did put in hours, I wouldn’t get anywhere. I’m not like you, Claudia. I know I’m a disappointment to him, but I haven’t got your brains and that’s all there is to it.’

  Claudia realised that her father probably had unrealistic ideas about his younger daughter, but at the same time she knew Maria made as little effort as she could get away with.

  ‘Look, Maria, if you’ll promise to try a bit harder, at least at English where you do sometimes get good marks, I’ll speak to Dad and explain your side of it. Now what’s the problem with Diana?’

  Maria’s face took on a tortured look. ‘She won’t speak to me any more and I can’t bear having fallen out with her. I’ve tried ringing, and I’ve written lots of notes, and delivered them to her door – but she won’t have anything to do with me!’ Maria began to sob uncontrollably.

  When she had finally calmed down, Claudia asked, ‘What happened? Did you do something to upset her?’

  ‘No! I didn’t! I’m sure I didn’t. Well, I never meant to upset her. I can’t help it if Lance prefers me to her. How is that my fault?’

  ‘Slow down a bit. Just try and tell me from the beginning.’

  ‘Well, I was going out with Alex, and Lance was going out with Diana, so we decided to go out as a foursome. Only Diana and Lance had hardly been going out for any length of time, because I’d been going out with Lance until recently. Then Alex, who’d been going out with Lorna, got fed up with her, and started to ask me out, and I thought he might be more fun, so Lance started going out with Diana, only when we all went out together Lance started paying me attention, and in the end he took me home, and Alex got fed up, and took Diana home, and now Diana thinks I took Lance off her, and she won’t speak to me!’ More sobbing followed this convoluted explanation.

  ‘It’s hardly surprising she’s not too pleased with you!’

  ‘You’re not going to take sides with Diana, are you? That’s not what I asked you to come home for! How could I help it if Lance preferred to be with me! I didn’t ask him to come back – I’d have stayed with Alex, even if he wasn’t as much fun as I’d thought. But I hate having Diana, of all people, not speaking to me! We’ve been best friends for ages, and now she just ignores me! I can’t bear it! It’s awful at school with her avoiding me all the time. It makes me feel horrible.’

  ‘What did you say in your notes to her?’

  ‘I said it wasn’t my fault that Lance came home with me, and it isn’t fair of her to blame me. I didn’t do anything.’

  ‘That’s hardly going to help.’

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘How about saying you’re sorry, and that you miss her as your friend, and ask her what you can do to win her friendship back.’

  ‘Oh, Claudia, I didn’t think of that! Of course you’re right! Thank goodness I’ve got a clever sister – I don’t know how I’d manage my life without you to help me. I knew you’d sort it all out.’

  ‘I’ve hardly done that. But perhaps it’s wo
rth a try.’

  ‘I’m going to ring her up now, and say exactly what you said – that is, if she’ll speak to me.’

  Maria went downstairs to use the telephone. Claudia couldn’t hear her words but she heard the tone, and it sounded contrite in the extreme. Then she heard the sound of crying, and went out to the landing to listen. It was clear they were both sobbing their hearts out, and Claudia heard phrases such ‘missed you dreadfully’ and ‘don’t let’s ever quarrel again’, and she smiled to herself. The friendship clearly mattered a great deal to Maria, and losing her friend had been a tragedy of the highest order. Claudia was glad they had become reconciled. She would have a word with their father before she left – she was sure he’d understand there was little to be achieved from pushing Maria where school work was concerned.

  Of course Hugh was extremely interested to hear what Claudia was doing at Oxford. She told him about the syllabus she was following and the tutorials she attended. She said she was putting in a great deal of time, but she was enjoying her studies, finding them stimulating and rewarding. He congratulated her on making an excellent start and asked several questions. When she’d answered them all, she slipped in a few comments about Maria, trying to get Hugh to understand that her sister was unlikely to attain any great academic standard so it was probably best to let her move at her own pace.

  Later in the afternoon she said goodbye to her sister who was restored to her usual sunny state, kissed her father, and took the train back to Oxford. She had really enjoyed spending a little time with Maria again, and there was something rather comforting about knowing you were being missed. Maria’s life might, in Claudia’s view, revolve around trivia, but she had to admit that there were times when she was rather lonely at Oxford. The familiarity of Maria’s chatter and her unconstrained expressions of affection had warmed Claudia’s heart. She loved the course she was doing but there was no emotional satisfaction in her college life and, whatever Maria’s shortcomings might be, Claudia knew that her sister meant the world to her. Pleased that she had made the visit and that, for the time being, Maria had regained her usual cheerfulness, Claudia felt ready to pick up the cudgels back at Oxford once more.